3.Surgery planning, and gender bias
My large herniation at level L4/L5
From the second week until the last week of January 2018 I walked with my back hunched over, like an 90 year old that used a walker that was set too low, only there was no walker. It was recommended by a colleague of my husband to see an orthopedic spine surgeon at UCLA Spine. The same office where I started my journey. This colleague assured us that he was a close friend and had operated on his wife in a very similar surgery to what I needed. I got an appointment within a week which was kinda amazing. At the appointment I brought a new MRI, one that showed the herniation grew again from 6mm in September to 8mm now in January. Surgery was the only plan. Microdiscectomy at L4/L5. I got a date for the following week: February 5. A few days before the surgery I started being able to walk upright, drive myself, and I started to question the need for surgery. But I knew I needed it. I wasn’t living, I was cautiously moving and still in a ton of pain and discomfort.
At the of my surgery consult with the surgeon, I met a man in the waiting room that was seeing the same surgeon for his 2 week post op. I noticed he was maybe a few years older than me and had a slight limp in his gait. We got to chatting and he said “ I have a condition called Bertolotti’s Syndrome and I was in a lot of pain and Dr. XXX did the surgery and changed my life.” I was shocked. I had only met people through online social media that were female with Bertolotti’s Syndrome. I was starting to be convinced it only afflicted women. I asked him a ton of questions and the more I ask the more confused I got. Did he have a herniated disc: “no”, how long did he experience pain before he had surgery : ”months”, did he have to jump through hoop after hoop and provide it was his BS or something else “no”. He was as confused as I was with my questions. I got called in to chat with the doctor so man and I said our goodbyes and he wished me luck.
After surgery was prescribed I asked the doctor about the man and him treating his Bertolotti’s with a “resection”. He told me that man and I were totally different and that we cannot discuss a resection at this time. “Let’s do the discectomy and take care of your disc before we talk about Bertolotti’s”. Ok that is weird. I told myself I need this surgery and my pathology is different. Get through this then this guy will do your resection. Patience. One thing at a time.
Haryn!!! Why are you still not listening to the voice in your head, is it too polite and not screaming? Why? You are a veteran at this pain thing, you’ve paid your dues. You are learning to speak up. Its taking a huge toll on your mental health, what will it take for you to listen to yourself?
Let’s just cut our long ass hair and get ready for surgery.
